Friday, September 23, 2011

Half The Force, Still The Same Price: A Fullscreen Movie Rant

It doesn't seem that long ago that I was in the cashier line at Best Buy with the newly released Star Wars Trilogy DVD in my hand, (I am talking about the real Star Wars trilogy here, not that fake piece of "dirty word" that Lucas tried to pawn off on us a while back) you know, the cool silver one that looks like this.
Well, as I was standing there, waiting, I noticed that the lady in front of me had a Star Wars trilogy in her hand that was gold instead of silver, and then I noticed that the silver ones were widescreen and the gold ones were fullscreen. Now, at this point I leaned forward and politely asked her if she didn't actually like seeing the whole movie, (Ok, I didn't really say that, I actually just shook my head and wondered if she knew what she was buying, but I said it in my head, so that is good enough) and that brings me to a nice little walk down memory lane.
You see, loving Star Wars as I do, my parents bought me this really cool collector set with all the movies on VHS, (VHS refers to video tapes, these were like ancient dvd technology, for those of you young people who might be reading and didn't understand the reference) and for the first time ever I was introduced to, WIDESCREEN movies*. Now at first I didn't get it, the picture seemed wrong, squished kinda, but it was explained to me that when you watch a fullscreen movie, you are actually missing some of the picture**, and that widescreen lets you see it all. Here are some pictures comparing the two so you can see what I mean, first with Star Wars

Sorry its a little blurry, the internets not perfect you know, but you get the point.
 And then with an even better example from Lord Of The Rings 
So you got to see the whole picture, that was cool, but what about those annoying bars you might say, they are just so......annoying! Well, thats kinda what It thought at first too, but then it was explained to me that you are supposed to watch the movie in the dark, and the bars won't bother you. And you know what, its true. So, this was all before dvd's came out, and when they finally did, most of the time they came in widescreen, but if not you usually had the option to either watch it in widescreen or fullscreen, and on the same disc no less, (although some of them used Double Sided Discs to accomplish this, and that is a whole other rant all together)

So here is my question?

Why the heck are they still putting movies in fullscreen!!!!!!?
I mean, what is the point? If they could fit both formats on dvd's before, why not now? Plus pretty much every dvd player I have ever seen has the ability to zoom in, which basically gives you an
option to make any widescreen movie into a fullscreen movie, (that is assuming you like missing the complete movie experience). So why do they still make full "frickin' annoying missing the scope that was intended" screen movies? So, if you know, feel free to let me in on the secret, cause it bugs the crap out of me, especially when you accidentally pick up a movie that you have been looking for and buy it, take it home and unwrap it to find that it is fullscreen, (this happened to me on more then one occasion, stupid rabbits, fullscreen is for....., well, schmucks). So, that is my rant, until next time, remember, stay safe, stay warm, and for the love of Pete, (hey, thats me) stay widescreen. Blog at you later.
*It helps to put a deep loud movie announcer voice in your head for that part, but if you want a less epic post, feel free to just read it in your own normal pedestrian voice.
**What they do is actually called Pan And Scan, which means that when they go to put the movie on dvd, someone actually has to sit there and watch it and decide what the most important part of each film section is, and then focus on that, leaving everything else in limbo like some half eaten taco that you ate and then put down, and your mom put it in the back of the fridge, and you find it years later. Now, what ever you do, no matter how much you like tacos, do not eat that one, sometimes, if you love something, you just have to let it go, this, is one of those times. Unless of course you are watching the widescreen version of the movie, which is like eating the complete taco and going back for seconds, and even thirds possibly***. So to recap, fullscreen is two year old moldy half eaten taco, Widescreen is taco paradise, and now you know.
***Man, now I really want a taco, and I am writing this at work at 1:35 in the morning, this sucks.

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