Tuesday, March 29, 2011

He Should Be Drug Out Into The Street And Shot: A Double Sided DVD Rant

So it has been a little while now since I started this blog, and I have yet to really rant about anything so far, so I thought I would get started on that. So, first up on my list, Double Sided DVD's.

Ok, so whenever I think of double sided DVD's, I immediately think of Garfield: A Christmas Special. Now,
 before you start thinking I have gone off the deep end, let me explain, but to that I will first do a quick recap incase you have never heard of Garfield. Garfield was originally a comic strip, written by Jim Davis, about an overweight sarcastic lasagna obsessed cat and his daily adventures. It has since been used in many different mediums, including books, a weekly animated tv show, 3 animated holiday specials and a couple of live action movies. So, what does this have to do with double sided DVD's you may ask? Well, go ahead, ask. No, really, I don't have all day, ask it already. Fine, I will just wait for you to be internet civil and ask the question.
Ask already, don't make me use this
(Ahh, thanks for playing along, I have this warm fuzzy feeling coming through my keyboard, and its all thanks to you) Anyway, so where Garfield's Christmas special enters the blog is there is a point when Garfield is climbing a christmas tree to place the star on the top after which he falls down all the way to the bottom, and then he says, "Whoever invented Christmas trees should be drug out into the street and shot" and that is the thought that always runs through my mind when ever I see double sided dvd's.
Do you feel lucky Double Sided DVD's. well, do you?
Double sided dvd's once upon a time must have seen like a great idea to somebody (although I can't imagine who, but I would love to find out, as you will read later) because you could save space and the amount of discs it would take for really long movies, or tv shows, sometimes reducing the amount of discs needed from 12 to 6 (bet you didn't know I was so good at math, yeah, I am not just another pretty face, brains and good looking, a triple threat, huh, huh) or for things like special features of a movie, or putting the widescreen format on one side and fullscreen on the other, (fullscreen movies are another thing that I will rant about another day). Sounds great, right, well, its not. In fact, it down right sucks, and heres why. IT DOESN'T WORK! Plain and simple, it doesn't work. Now let me explain what I mean. As far as I knew the whole point of DVD's was to allow people to see high quality movies in the comfort of their home, wasn't it? Well, the main problem with normal one sided dvd's is that they get smudged and scratched and pick up finger prints (yeah, how someone actually manages to place their fingers on the bottom side of a disc is a mystery to me, but on the up side it has helped the police arrest several individuals over the years for cd and dvd related crimes. or at least, in my imaginary tv land they did) and such things, and this happens a fair bit, but when it comes to double sided dvd's this seems to happen way more, (if math was holding up, then it would mean that double sided dvd's would have twice as many scratches, smudges and finger prints, but due to some super cosmic voodoo wormhole craziness, double sided dvd's get at least 10 times the amount of the previously stated problems). So, they get messed up way more, but is that really a reason to hate them and their creator, well, this is like one of those awesome late night "knife sets that can cut a can while driving your car and doing your taxes" commercials, BUT WAIT, THERES MORE.
So here it is, it is not only that they get messed up easily, but when they do get messed up, there is no freakin way to fix them. You see, single sided dvds can be cleaned and repaired, either by fancy gadgets you can buy at your local Buy More*, or your near by Square Destroying video store has a cool liquid spitting spinning dvd machine that fixes them lickity split, but can you do all that for double sided dvds? NO! If your double sided dvd gets scratched, messed, mucked, smeared, or any thing else out there, then there is nothing you can do, you are totally screwed, (this especially sucks
It wasn't me, I promise.
 when it is not just a movie where you could easily go buy another copy, but disc 5 of 6 in a tv series that is no longer easy to find and has no product support from its makers, so replacing the disc might be all but impossible). So, although I don't really advocate violence, I, just like Garfield, think the guy who "Invented double sided dvds should be drug out into the street and shot*". So remember, stay single sided my Internet peoples, and I will rant at you later.

**Not with a real gun mind you, maybe a bebe gun, or a paintball gun, yeah, thats it, a paintball gun, with a really big air canister attached, so that the paintball will fly faster and hurt more when it hits him, yeah, that will work.


  1. Consumers need to demand higher quality Discs. What good is the best picture and best sound if the Discs they are put on scratch so easily? Come on, scratch resistant is not a new technology. Fact is like many other things consumers don't put a high enough demand for quality.

  2. Amen to that, and thanks for the comment.